Wednesday, 6 August 2014


Success Criteria

Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.

My sister Lauren said “Do you want to play throwing games like throwing the tennis ball into the bin from the top of the hill?” I said “Ok, can I go first?”  “No your not.” so I said quietly “You're mean!”

Off we go to Inflatable World. Obviously my sister thought it was too babyish from the website but when she got there …
“Omg” she said and rushed over to get a band that said Inflatable World on it. Then she ran off playing anyway. I rushed over to the game that had blown up circle things and fighting pole things that you hit people with. Once I was fighting a 15 year old called Jake and I beat him by pushing him in the feet and he fell but it didn't hurt because the ground was inflatable.


I get to go to Holly's house! Wait, what time is it? Mum said it is at 3:30. I said “Thats lucky.” I thought  I had my dance on that day. When I get there we are going to watch Flash Gordon and House of Magic. 
I said “We have got lollies.”
Holly said “We don't have lollies.”  So I sneakily brought some in my bag and said “I've got them.”
Holly said “What kind are they?”
I said “Party mix and candy canes.”
Holly said “Did you just say what I think you said? candy canes?”
Holly said “They are my favourite.”
“And I've got Freddos.”
She said “This is going to be the best sleepover ever.”



  1. Dear Millie
    I love how you spelt all of your words correctly!
    I like how you used lots of punctuation and it looks all correct!
    Next time you could end your writing in a simple conclusions.
    Did you tell on Lauren after you said she was mean?

  2. Dear Millie I really like how you put you and your sister tacking I really like that you spelt most of your words right next time I think you shoued use les info. did you do eney think else?